Elsja Down Under

My random life experiences as I follow my heart and travel to Australia for love…

 

A New Era of Sneaky Pick-up Lines February 23, 2011

Filed under: Gibber Jabber — elsja @ 9:44 pm

Recently I think I’ve been the receiver of some sneaky pick-up lines. Well, maybe I shouldn’t call them “pick-up” lines, rather they were just random, clever ways for guys to start a conversation. In no ways do I mean to suggest they were hitting on me, afterall, I am wearing a wedding ring- but there is just something a bit fishy about the real reasons these conversations were even started in the first place.

Incident #1

I was out having drinks after work with a few girl friends. A guy who looked quite a bit younger than us came up and told us that he and his friends were having a bit of a debate and they wanted some female opinions. This guy was dating a girl quite a bit older than him (he was 25 and she was 30) and he wanted to know what we thought the maximum age difference should be if the girl is older than the guy. We proceeded to get into a long conversation and debate on the topic until he finally slid in the “so are you all older than your boyfriends?” When nearly all of us said “yes” (strange, I know), he suddenly had to go check on his friends. Sneaky way to find out if any of us were single? Maybe. Oddly, this guy who supposedly had an older girlfriend came back 15 minutes later and asked us all if we wanted to come with him and his friends to another bar. We said no but I had to give him credit for trying. He definitely put a lot of effort into that one!

Incident #2

I was sitting on a train when a youngish guy asked me if I knew how much longer it would take before we got to Town Hall. I said no but I could check on my handy dandy iphone. I looked it up and told him and he then started asking me about the app I was using and I shared all the glorious details. So then we were chatting… he said he was going to be late getting to his destination and I asked if he was going to work. He said yes. I said “Oh, do you come this way to work every day?” He said yes. Hmm.. then why on earth did he need me to tell him how far away Town Hall was?? Clearly someone who traveled that train EVERY day would know exactly where he was. Sneaky.

Incident #3

Ok this is a weird one and I don’t really think this was a pick-up line but it was still strange so I’m writing about it. I was waiting for the Ferry one day and a French guy asked me if I was waiting for the Mosman Ferry. I said yes and I figured he was just checking to see if he was in the right spot since the sign had not posted the ferry details yet. So then another ferry shows up (NOT going to Mosman) and the French guy gets up and gets on the Ferry. Huh?? Clearly he wasn’t trying to figure out if he was in the right place because wasn’t even going to Mosman. I just don’t understand!

Maybe people in Australia have just become friendlier these days and they enjoy starting conversations with random strangers. These conversations always seem a little peculiar though since the questions these guys are asking aren’t even REAL questions that require real answers. Very strange indeed.

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Relationship Advice from Strangers – Part II February 16, 2011

Filed under: Funnies, Love This Stuff — elsja @ 8:25 pm

This little batch of advice all came from one guy who sat by the pool writing in my notebook for about 2 hours.

1. Don’t cheat unless you know you won’t get caught
2. Sometimes your man wants to sit in silence… let that happen
3. Randomly dirty dance with your man
4. Always make your guy feel #1. If you see a movie star that is hot… it is ok to say he’s hot but follow it with “but you’re hotter”
5. Never have bad breath
6. Send a random text to let him know you’re thinking of him
7. You have to reverse spoon sometimes even if you don’t want to
8. Randomly grab his hand in the car when you are on the way to dinner
9. Have 1 random drunk night every now and then… to venture out of your “comfort” zones
10. Wear black panties once a week and let him see them when he least expects it
11. Have a “make dinner” night together once a month… don’t be shy, let the ingredients play a “role”
12. He is allowed to be on top and have his way with you every now and then
13. Kissing after oral is ok
14. When he is taking a shower… sneak in and grab his towel. Put it in the dryer and return it nice and warm for when he gets out- Bonus Points!!
15. 1 vacation per year minimum (no exceptions)

Think that’s all?.. Oh no… there is more. Oh so much more. To be continued…

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Relationship Advice from Strangers – Part I February 13, 2011

Filed under: Funnies, Love This Stuff — elsja @ 2:40 pm

Just in time for Valentines Day, I’ve got some love tips for you all!!

Awhile back I think I mentioned how my friends were so kind as to collect a book of advice on love and marriage during my bachelorette party weekend. Who better to give the advice than random strangers right? I’ve always thought it would be great to share these tips on my blog, so now I am… in a multi-part series. You may want to bookmark this page and head back here any time your relationship needs a little pick-me-up because some of these tips are stellar (and hilarious).




1. Be happy with whatcha got ’til you get whatcha want.

2. Make the decision to love and commit and all the adventures and joys of marriage will take care of themselves.

3. Never blame, always communicate, love conquers all. Work together, possibilities are endless

4. Never make excuses

5. Remember why you fell in love. Put each other first, marriage first. Family second, everything else last. A healthy, loving relationship takes time and effort. Communicate well and never go to bed angry. Overuse I love yous.

6. Stay 10 years, you get the money

7. Keep everything nice and trimmed. Grooming is key

8. Men are not able to do two things at once, including but not limited to thinking and speaking at the same time. Emotions are sometimes sheltered but we will always want the best for you!

9. When you really want something, but you know the answer is “no”, ask him in bed! :)

10. Always say “I love you” before leaving or going to bed and always have a pair of crotchless panties available.

11. If you don’t forgive and learn how not to resent, it’s like drinking a vial of poison and expecting it to affect the other person.

12. Expect the unexpected. Never take for granted your relationship no matter how solid it may be. Realize, if you can’t handle things at their worst, you don’t deserve them at their best.

13. One word: swallow

14. The key to a great wedding and marriage is laugh first when something is going bad. Laugh, laugh, laugh… oh and lots of blow jobs.

15. Just lay back and think of Scotland

Words to live by, I tell you! And we’ve only just gotten started…

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Our Wedding February 12, 2011

Filed under: Our Wedding — elsja @ 12:27 pm

Here is our amazing wedding highlight video created by the super awesome Jonathan Tamayo. It’s 5 minutes of happiness. :) I suggest choosing the 720d (HD) version and double clicking it to watch it full screen!! :)

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